It’s about being involved, not being intrusive Published Feb. 17, 2011 By Lt. Col. John R. Thomas 10th Space Warning Squadron commander CAVALIER AIR FORCE STATION, N.D. -- Today more than ever we hear about the increasing suicide rate in the military. Our senior leaders are trying to figure out how to address this epidemic across the Air Force. We've had more than a couple Wingman Days to discuss how to address this issue in our own units. I say, at the most basic level, it comes down to leadership -- and leadership is about relationships. In this environment of doing more with less, I believe we've lost some of the luxury of getting out from behind our e-mails and taskers and doing the important part -- spending time with our Airmen. But, this is absolutely imperative because the truly lasting legacy every leader will leave is with the Airmen they lead, not with the unit or mission they belong to at the time. For the most part, we have come to grips with drinking and driving. We won't hesitate to take car keys away from a fellow Airman, or offer to drive them home. We feel almost comfortable telling a wingman they've had too much to drink, because we know the results could negatively affect their Air Force career. The sad fact is we have Airmen dying, and not for the reason they joined. Do we not see it coming because we feel it's "intrusive" to delve into their personal lives? Do we lead on the field, but not always off the field when everyone heads home? I once attended a suicide briefing about a young Airman. I listened to this commander painstakingly go through a detailed timeline of the events in this person's life that led to the suicide. For an hour and a half I could think about nothing else but, "Where was the supervisor? Where was the flight commander?" The briefing did not address supervisor actions, but I wondered, if the immediate leadership had been involved in what was going on in that Airman's world, would he or she have seen the warning signs we are all trained to detect, have gotten involved to get the person help, and the result have been different? By no means do I place blame on the supervisor, but I had to wonder, if the supervisor was not involved was it because he or she did not want to be intrusive? Being involved starts with feedback, both formal and informal, and includes opening up the lines of communication for that feedback to flow BOTH ways. It means getting to know the Airman, their family, the reason they joined the Air Force, their goals and dreams, etc. It means making yourself available both in the office and out, and not letting yourself be distracted by e-mails and taskers. It means having a relationship that allows for early detection of issues affecting that Airman's life -- both professional and personal. And then it means acting when something isn't as it should be. My message to you as a supervisor and a leader is this: it's about being "involved" and not about being "intrusive." When you develop that relationship with your Airmen, your involvement will not be intrusive! I challenge every supervisor and leader out there to be deliberate about the time you spend with your Airmen, build a relationship, be involved, and leave a truly lasting legacy.